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As the effects of Sept. 11 ripple outward, one of the results is a whole new form of fear of flying. Grown-ups feel it; and many children do too.
How can parents help kids who have these fears?
Of course, much depends on the age of the child. Older children can grasp, intellectually, the idea that the chances of another disaster in the air are extremely, extremely small. Air travel has always been, and remains, statistically safer than car travel.
Many kids may find it reassuring that security has been increased within airports, and on the airplanes themselves. Family Travel Forum lists new security procedures. For example, only ticketed passengers will be allowed to enter the departure gate areas in airports now. Security personnel will patrol airports, and ride anonymously on certain flights.
Yet deep fears may still remain, and be closely tied to the shock our children felt when New York and Washington were attacked. All of us have felt grief and shock and vulnerability: and even young children are aware of it.
Below are three web resources you may find helpful.
- family travel expert Eileen Ogintz writes about Dealing With Children's Travel Fears-- including kids who are worried when their parents must fly for business trips
- At VacationKids, Sally Black has advice on how to talk to kids about their feelings and fears following the tragedies of Sept. 11, plus advice for traveling families.
- Purdue University has advice about Talking about Children and Terrorism
In all the above, similar themes emerge.
Don't try to lie about your own fears: older kids may know more than you think; and even young kids can have excellent radar for sensing when they're being deceived.
Allow your child to express their fears, and other emotions too-- such as sadness, anger, rage. Try to encourage caring and empathy. Be available if your child needs to talk: younger kids may need to have the same conversation many times.
Provide reassurance: help your kids feel safe. With older kids, however, you need to be realistic too: which calls for one of the balancing acts of parenting.
Watch for signs that your child is anxious or stressed. He or she may need help to open up and express themselves.
If you take a business trip, take extra care to keep in touch. Call home often; leave notes or small daily presents for younger kids; give the child a calendar that counts down to your return.
Try to do something positive. Donate to a charity-- with your kids' help. Attend a religious service or memorial service or other community gathering together.
At present, many people are choosing not to fly, or are switching to destinations within driving range, and certainly this may be a sensible option if either you or your children are too anxious to take a flight.
But already the impact on the travel industry is serious: near-bankruptcies of large corporations make headlines, as do massive layoffs; meanwhile, many small operators are crumbling quietly.
Many of us who love to travel want the travel industry-- including our favorite hotels and destinations-- to continue to exist in the shape and form to which we've grown accustomed: with so many services and bargains and conveniences. Hopefully, soon, people will feel safe enough to fly again, before the economic damage goes too deep.
