Harry Potter Theme Park a go!

Please note: a real Harry Potter theme park experience is being built at Universal Orlando's Islands of Adventure theme park, with opening date in late 2009 -- read about the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. This article is a spoof, for April Fool's Day!

dateline: April 1 2005 --note the date!

Fans will be thrilled to hear that a Harry Potter Theme Park will open in December in the Canadian province of Newfoundland. While some raise eyebrows at this location, Canada's Prime Minister Cornelius Fudge notes that Newfoundland is well-placed for guests from both London and the US.

An entire local village will be re-styled as Diagon Alley and -- to maintain ambiance 24 hours a day-- locals have agreed to dress in Harry Potter-appropriate garments at all times. "The natives are glad to do it," Project Manager Gilderoy Lockhart enthuses. "We're coaching them in English accents too."

Guests at the Harry Potter Theme Park will lodge at the luxury Hogwarts Resort. Insiders worry that the famous moving staircases may not be functional by opening date, but Technical Manager Arthur Weasley pooh-poohs such fretting: "Our computer wizard, Hagrid, has my complete confidence."

No Harry Potter Theme Park could be complete without Quidditch, and the ride uses a state-of-the-art levitation system. "This baby makes Mission Space look like a lullaby," opines Lockhart.

But Can the Harry Potter Theme Park be ready by December? Rumors have swirled about construction maps that change mysteriously overnight, a giant spider in the Knight Bus Coaster, trolls in the underground parking lot. There is also a lawsuit pending by Malfoy Enterprises, which claims it holds all copyrights for the "Harry Potter Theme Park" name, the Harry Potter Theme Park, and Harry Potter himself.

But Lockhart, Fudge, and Weasley all chime in: "There's loads of time. Just look at today's date: anything's possible on April Fool's."